"The Gazebo" by Joy Rajan

I made way to the backyard and stood at in my gazebo that I had built. I loved my home. I was lucky to find a beautiful home by the beach. I looked out into the ocean to see that the sun was beginning to set. I turned and put my record of Nat King Cole on. I love the sound of vinyl.  And hearing Nat King Cole just transported me to a different time, a different world. I began to dance. I stopped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see my wife looking at me. Her beautiful blue eyes glistened in the setting sun. I could almost see stars in her face.  I pulled her close to me and kissed her. We danced together. She looked tired. 

"Are you alright Babe?" I asked when I felt her resting her head on my shoulder. "I am. Just tired." "I can see that." She lifted her head and smiled at me. We kissed again. ”Tell me." I cried. "It's just the treatments. I.V.F. is harder than I had anticipated." "We should stop then. We can try something else. Or take a break. I know you want to have -" "A baby? No need to fret. And we can stop the treatments. I just found out I'm six weeks pregnant." I stopped. The moment she said she was pregnant her face lit up and I didn't see an ounce of her fatigue. I immediately when down on both knees and kissed her stomach.

"Sweetheart! What are you doing?" "Kissing our baby." "O Darling. I'm so glad I married you! My sweet, sweet Ella!" I heard my name over and over again. I opened my eyes and my alarm was going off and my mom was standing over me.

"Honey shut that off please. Your alarm woke me up! It's six in the morning on a Saturday. Why do you even have an alarm?" I turned it off. My mother shook her head and stormed off. I heard her cursing under her breath as she made her way back to her room. I looked over to see that I was alone in my bed. I sighed and went back to sleep.  

I got out of bed slowly. My heart felt heavy. I could feel my entire body sighing. I made my way downstairs and joined my parents for breakfast. To my surprise they barely spoke to me. I suppose they were far too preoccupied with god knows what. I could not care less. I was happier when they did not talk to me. 

I went about my usual weekday. I did my laundry, the dishes and when I finally had time for myself I made it out outside for a walk. I popped in my earphones and listened to music, just anything to drown out the dream that I had. Every night I dreamt that same dream. And each time I saw a gazebo I was reminded of that dream. 

I guess reader you are wondering why all of this brought me grief. Well quite simply put my parents were not in any way condoning me being a lesbian. Every time I came out to them they would shut me down with religious antics. So I remained silent on the subject and chose instead to vent my frustration out in my diary. I used to keep a physical diary but I realised the hard way how vulnerable I was to attack. My parents bore no shame in riffling through my diary. I chose then to purchase my own iPad and kept everything password protected.  

It was the only way to cope. I brought my iPad to my favourite spot. There was a park not to far from where I lived. There was a wood bench and table surrounded by trees and a stone throw away from the train tracks. I would wait for the train to go by. I longed to hear the sound of its raging engine and the constant beats that it let off as it trucked on the old rusting tracks. It brought my heart peace for some odd reason. 

I opened my iPad and began writing. I stopped suddenly when I felt myself being watched. I thought it odd for a moment. Not many people knew of this park. Usually the workers of the neighbouring wood mills that would have their lunches here. I turned and looked to see a young woman fiddling with her camera. She had such a flawless face. I could tell by her features that she wasn’t local. She was tall and slender. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. I sudden chill came over me. But it wasn't cold. It was summer. We held each other’s gaze for a while. It was odd. It was as though we had met before. As cliché as one might think, I could quote Sleeping Beauty "We met -once upon a dream." 

"Have we met before?" She asked. She was German. I shook my head. "O? I thought you looked familiar. I guess I was mistaken." I said nothing. I didn't know what to say. Her voice was angelic. Her German accent was noticeable but it wasn't strong. I could tell that she wasn’t completely new to Canada. She was soft spoken. I could sense the gentility illuminating from her body. She came up to me. I could smell her perfume. It smelt familiar. It had a touch of a fruity aroma -a mixture of various fruits like apple with jasmine.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to disturb you." "O that's alright. You weren't. I was actually just taking a break. I think I've been stuck at the same sentence for awhile." She smiled. "Are you working on a paper?" "No. A novel." "O! You're a writer. That's great. I'm a photographer. It's just a hobby." "Same here with my writing. Would you care to join me by any chance?" "I'd love to! I'm Rebecca by the way." "Ella." I said suddenly feeling shy. She smiled and winked at me. I felt myself blush and my face felt slightly warm. She sat down in front of me. As soon as she did I felt myself transported into my dream again. Yes that damn gazebo dream again. Only now it was Rebecca who was dancing in my arms. I pulled myself out of it.      

"Are you okay?" She asked. I hesitated slightly. "I am yes," I lied. She nodded I could tell by the way she looked at me she wasn't convinced by my answer. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to lie. It's just I'm nervous. And -" "And?" I knew she wasn't letting me go. I had to answer. I took a deep breath and told the truth, "You make me feel nervous. I- I find you attractive." She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. Feeling myself blush I looked away. She laughed. I watched her and studied her stupidly. I gave her a puzzled look when she stood up and sat beside me. I didn't know what to do. Should I stand up? Should I just sit here? I feel like a moron. I leaned back slightly and watched her as she seated herself beside me. She placed her hand on my face and pulled her towards me. She kissed me gently on my lips and said, "You're just as attractive." She stroked my cheek with the back of her hand. 

She put my camera back in bag and the two of us began talking again.  It felt amazing talking to her. I felt so liberated as though I could be myself. I didn't even realise that I was smiling the entire time. I saw a sparkle in her eyes. I felt so vulnerable. When she looked at me I could see that she was looking deep into my soul. Odd, that I felt no fear despite my vulnerability. For years I had built walls around my heart and pushed people away. I had to keep who I was private and hidden away even from my family. They never understood me. I have always felt that I was never good enough for them. And here I lay bare all my faults, my weaknesses and my fears all at the feet of a remarkable woman I barely know. How did she find her way into my heart and into my soul. And I just met her. Why am I thinking all like this already? Okay I’m sorry. I am getting carried away. I get so caught up in my own thoughts all too often. Not to mention that I over exaggerate –am I rambling again? I am. So! Back to reality! Or not. Why can I not stop gazing at her? She has completely captivated me. All I could think about was her. I was both floating and grounded in my thoughts. My head was clear but baffled. How can I explain all this? Am I in love?

"What are you thinking about?" "You." Said I. She looked at me with her kind eyes and smiled. "Well I am right here, so stop thinking and talk to me." I blushed. She moved closer to me and put her hand on my thigh. I swallowed my words and my thoughts. I took a leap and I placed my hand on hers. Without saying a word she laid her head on my shoulder. Strange, for a second ago she said to stop thinking and talk to me. I'm confused. Now she is resting her head on my shoulder. Am I supposed to say something? Great now I am going to just sit here like an idiot. I don't even know what to say. She’s got my mind all wound up tight and now all of a sudden I am a complete blank. O do say something Rebecca! To my relief I did not have to wait to long. She broke the silence.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want it. In all honesty I hate small talk." "So do I. It isn't worth it." "No it isn't." I wrapped my arm around her and laid my head on hers. "I only just met you and I feel like we're connected. Don't you feel something Rebecca?" "I do. It's odd isn't it? Are you feeling awkward?" "No. Not anymore. I actually forgot all about it.” “So can I ask what were you thinking about?” “My thoughts were complete scrambled. I was just thinking how good but scary it is that I feel like I can be open with you. I’ve been struggling to push people away and you just walk in say hi and I want to tell you everything!” “Really?” “Really.” “Wow. Well we're just sitting here. And I have time. So if you want to open up to me you can." “Thanks Rebecca but not yet. We did just meet. Speaking of time. What time is it?" I looked at my watch. "It's four o'clock." "Really? We've been sitting here for an entire hour." "Yup." "Well I have to get back. I'm pretty sure my family is going to freak out at me if I am not home before dinner." "O fun!" I looked at Rebecca puzzled. "Is your family pretty -how should I put it." "Involved." "I was going to say controlling but 'involved' is one way of putting it." I shrugged. She laughed. "Well let's not get you grounded." She said still laughing. I just shook my head. 

We held hands and continued talking. It turned out she actually lived not that far from where I did. We were merely ten minutes apart. Walking distance. 

"Are your parents okay with you being out?" She asked. I knew that question would come. "No. They do know but they are in denial of it. I don't even want to talk to them about it anymore." "O." "And yours?" "O they are fully supportive. You should come over. My parents and I came here from Germany a year ago. So we're really new to everything. We do have family here but not many friends." "Well you have my friendship." "And more?" She asked looking at me. "I'm sorry Ella I just really like you. I know we've only met for an hour but I can tell that there is something special about you." "Same. I pictured us dancing." "In a club?" "No. Ballroom. I'm sorry I'm-" "-No that's wonderful!" I blushed. She kissed my cheek.

I brought her home to meet my parents the following day and it didn't take long before my parents wanted to meet her parents. So her parents came over for dinner. While our parents were talking, Rebecca snuck me away to my room. 

"Wow! I really like your room." "O?" "Yes! It's cosy. "Thank you." "You're welcome now come here." I walked up to Rebecca. She closed my bedroom door and pulled down the blinds and took off her sweater. I could hear my heart pounding. I could hear Tegan and Sara’s Closer playing in my head. She looked so beautiful in her tank top and capris. I could see her beautifully tanned skin so clearly as I hadn’t noticed it before. I stood frozen as she came closer and closer to me. I fixed her eyes on hers and she smiled as she wrapped her arms around me. I looked at her confused.  

“Relax my dear! I have you all to myself.” “What are you thinking?” I asked. I could hear my voice crack. “I’m thinking how nice it would be to kiss you.” I felt a rush. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest. I honestly felt like a cartoon character with my heart pounding outside of my chest. But when she drew nearer I felt a strange sense of calm overwhelm me. I felt my heart slowing down. We kissed. It was magical. I felt sparks flying and I honestly hear fireworks going off in the background. I could see us in a clear beautiful night by the ocean and fireworks lighting up behind us. I wrapped my arms around her. I felt my brain slowly shutting off. All I could ask myself was “Am I in love?” It was absolutely incredible and that moment felt like eternity. I honestly felt myself floating and I –

“Rebecca!” “Ella! Come down. Dessert is ready.” We pulled apart. “We should go.” “I didn’t want this to end.” “O Ella! You are such a romantic. What were you thinking? Imagining fireworks?” She asked laughing. I blushed. “O! You were! O you are so sweet! Sweet Ella. You truly are a romantic. I really like that about you. What next? Dancing to Nat King Cole?” “How did you guess?” I asked dumbly. “Well…” She directed my gaze to my music collection. “And dancing?” I asked again. She smiled at me. “Well that isn’t hard to deduce is it?” “O.” She kissed me. “I love dancing.” She whispered and kissed me again. I followed her still floating. I kept pinching myself as we ran down the stairs to the kitchen. It wasn’t a dream. Now I really wanted a gazebo. 

I watched them leave. I felt my heart sank. I did not want to go back to my empty bed. Thankfully the week flew by and Rebecca and I spent more time together. I took my iPad and began writing and she would take her camera out. I let her read my stories and she should me her work. We were each other’s critiques. It surprisingly worked so well. She wasn’t my first girlfriend, if you could call her that. It has been what a week now so it is hard to say. I just didn’t want to expect too much. I know I am a romantic. I have been with my exes. Of course no one in my family knew about them. They never lasted. You can guess why. My family. All three of them wanted to meet my parents and be involved with my family. But it was just my parents and I. I was an only child. I was glad when I found that Rebecca wasn’t bothered by them.  

“Don’t worry about your parents Ella.” She said with an assuring voice. “I have had many experiences with people like them. Parents not so much though. My exes’ parents back in Germany were all supportive.  So dealing with your parents will be a first. You don’t worry. I am not planning on going anywhere. We kissed. A few months went by. I still didn’t tell my parents about her. I wanted to wait. Rebecca and I had only been together for two months. 

My first, Lisa, lasted a month and she wanted to move in already and she introduced herself to my parents and then my parents and I had a massive fight. I had to break it of with her. Things were getting far too heated between my parents and I. I had better luck with the second partner though, Janet. We were together for three months and then I found out she was cheating on me with my first girlfriend. O the lesbian drama! And then the third was just wonderful. She was quite a bit older than me, Sarah. She was a high school teacher. We both met through school in the same creative writing class. She actually encouraged me in pursuing my writing. So I entered a few writing competitions and did win a few contests but I never did anything beyond that. We were together for a year. She was completely fine not meeting my parents or getting involved with them but I was able to. I spent a lot of time at her place but she never once asked me to move in with her. It was going well even though my parents knew out about us. 

“You have to decide Ella between your happiness or theirs. You can’t do both. I love you. You are an amazing young woman and you have such an amazing talent. Don’t you waste it!” “I know. You’re right. I want to be with you Sarah. Why can’t I move in with you?” “Look. I want to be with you and I know you want to be with me. But right now my dear you have to get your priorities straight. You have to know what you want. I have to know that you are ready. And I just feel like you aren’t. Believe me my love I want you to move in. It’s been amazing being with you. But you need someone better than me.” “I love you Sarah! Why would you think anyone else would be better?” “I know you do. We love each other Hun, but I don’t think we are right for each other. You deserve so much more than what I can give you.” “But Sarah!” She kissed me left. We parted that day. I was heart broken. 

I found out a few weeks later that she was taken ill. She had breast cancer.  It returned and she couldn’t fight it anymore. She never told me she was battling it. Maybe that’s why she was pulling away. Despite the fight my parents and I had when Sarah and I were together I kept going. I continued to love her and I visited her in the hospital every day with her favourite flowers, lilies. She died two months later. It took awhile to recover from that. I realised I lost her twice. She left me an old edition of Pride and Prejudice her favourite novel and a letter. I read the inscription in the book. It was written out to her from her mother also died from breast cancer. 

To my dearest love,  

Do not stop believing in love. You will find your heart and you will find your Mrs. Darcy. I love you! 

Mom

It moved me to tears. And her letter well it says it all:

My beautiful Ella

The year and a bit that we shared were truly magical. I have been in a few relationships in my life. Yes they last a long while but they have never been so whole as with you. Hell I have been married twice and my marriages though they have lasted a few years I have never once felt so beautiful and so loved as they way you have loved me. We are ten years apart my dear and I know that does not bother you in anyway I still feel like I will be holding you back from life. You are so young and you have so much of life you have yet discover. I am simple woman Ella and I want to settle down in life. You on the other hand, you have to get out and see the world. You have only been out for what three years now. There is so much of yourself that you have to discover! I am so glad that I have met you. I have wanted to give you this letter and let you know that I am dying. Like my mother before me, I am battling cancer. I have been for a while now. I just never wanted to bother you about it. My treatments have been going well now. I thought things were going well and when I met you I was in remission. You made me feel so alive and young again that I almost forgot how malicious this disease was. I hated to break it off with you. But it is for the best. Go and live again. Don’t long for me. You can miss me but don’t let any of this stop you from loving and being loved. You will find the right woman my beautiful Ella. 

I love you and I always will

Your Sarah

I’ve learnt a lot from being with Sarah. She was an amazing woman. Of course to my parents she was an awful influence who pitted me against them. She never did. She didn’t even speak one negative word against them. She was always positive and encouraged me to reach out to them. I never understood why my parents could not see any member of the LGBTQ community as just people. They were always so driven by their own Christian views that they could not simply love people for who they are. I never felt truly loved by them. But being around Rebecca’s family was a complete and utter joy. I never in my life felt so comfortable and part of family. 

“Ella? I am so sorry that your parents don’t accept you. You are their only daughter. If you don’t mind me asking what do they say to you?” “They are just in denial ever since I came out to them. I kept trying to open up to them and talk to them about how I feel and how me wanting to be with another woman isn’t wrong. This is who I am. I can’t help that I fell in love with another girl.” Rebecca’s mom smiled at me. She gave me a big hug followed by a bowl of ice cream. Man I love this family. Rebecca came up to me and wrapped her arms around me. We kissed over and over again. Her mom sighed. She was looked at us admiringly. I got used to it. “Thank you for everything Mrs. -” “O please call me mom. You are family. And do come over more often. I think you should sleep over more often as well, Rebecca’s always complaining how she hates sleeping alone.” “Mom!” “O my dear I can’t help it I love seeing you two together. You’d make the perfect couple. I know it’s only been four months but-“ “Anna! Leave the girls alone.” “Hans?” “It’s okay. I’m sorry Ella. I’ll take your mom and let you two be.” “O! I just saw the cutest wedding –“ “No! No weddings. Come on these girls are young. How old are you Ella?” “Twenty-five.” “Rebecca too. See leave them they have a long time to go before they get serious.” “Thank you Papa.” He winked at us and took Rebecca’s mom away. “I’m sorry about that.” “Why? They’re awesome!” Rebecca laughed. We spent the rest of that afternoon cuddling on the couch watching random movies on Netflix. I looked up at Rebecca I knew she was thinking about something.

“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?” “Just what my mom said earlier.” “O about the wedding thing?” “Dress. She saw a wedding dress yesterday when we went shopping.” “O?” “Yea. I confess I have thought about us and-“ “-And a wedding?” She nodded. “It’s way too soon though. I know but still I can’t help it.” “Hey, it’s okay. I think that’s sweet and it’s a good thing that you see possible future with us. That’s a good sign.” “It is isn’t it?” “O Rebecca can we just enjoy every moment we have together. I told you about my past relationships haven’t I?” She nodded. “And I’ve told you about mine.” “You never had a serious one though, did you?” She shook her head. “I never made time for one. I had girlfriends but I limited emotional connections. I guess that’s why they left me, sex wasn’t enough for them.” 

“But it’s different with you Ella. I know I keep telling you that over and over again. But really I am glad that I have you! O! Pride is next week. We should go!” “I’m not –“ “O Hun we don’t have to do the night club part of it but we can go for the parade etc. It’ll be fun.” “Okay sure!” “Great! I want to show you off.” 

Pride was amazing. I have gone every year since I came out ever since I met Rebecca it has been even more enjoyable. Ever since we met I have been more involved in the LGBTQ community and my confidence grew. A year passed and I finally finished my novel. She encouraged me to send it out. I did it got rejected. I lost count how many publishes rejected it and after all of that I stopped trying. Rebecca didn’t stop bugging me however. I put my novel aside and just worked on short stories. Lesbian love stories actually. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised but they did surprisingly well. I wrote mostly from my experience and drew a lot from what I had to deal with, with my family and I guess people wanted more. I couldn’t believe what was happening, I was a published author. 

“Ella! You have such a talent!” “But what about my novel?” “O my dear that won’t fly. Not in North America. It is a good book. Keep working at it but I fear that the North American market isn’t going to take it into consideration. It’s a beautiful story. I quite enjoy the twist and the plot where a young man discovers that is diseased mother was a secret lesbian a truly captivating idea but it just isn’t going to work. But don’t give up on it. Keep working on it and fine tuning it. As for your short stories! Do keep them coming! You’re a beautiful charming writer.” I looked at her, thanked and her left. I didn’t look back but I could tell that my publisher, Renee was looking at me, admiringly. She was an odd one. She knew I was in a relationship. Rebecca and I had been going strong now for a year now but still Renee would drop statements like: A gifted beauty you are and Why have we not met sooner over and over again. I had spoken to her already but that didn’t stop her. I wasn’t sure what else to do. Apart from the comments though she never tried to touch me. Or so I thought.

It was a Friday night. I was waiting at our favourite restaurant when there she was. I guess I never gave her much thought but she was in her forties. She was really attractive and didn’t look her age at all. I studied her face, she didn’t have any sign of surgeries or anything, I always chalked it up to her having good aging genes. She noticed me and came up to me. I tried to avoid her gaze and looked at my phone. I was waiting anxiously for a text from Rebecca, still nothing yet. It was really unlike her to be late. I looked over and saw her getting out of a car. I watched. I could barely make out who it was who was driving her. It wasn’t anyone in her family. The woman got of her car and I saw them embrace. She kissed Rebecca on the lips and waved good bye. I looked away. I didn’t want to jump into any conclusions but still. 

“Hi Ella.” “O hi Renee.” “Are you waiting for someone?” “Yes my girlfriend.” “Ah I see. Is she by any chance that lovely young lady who was kissing another girl.” “It’s none of your business.” “Well you are my business young lady. I may be your publisher but your well being is my top priority. If you are unhappy that in returns comes back to me. An unhappy author makes an unhappy publisher.” “Right.” I snapped. Renee excused herself. I looked over and saw that she seated in table diagonal to mine. 

I watched as Rebecca came in. She was glowing. I just didn’t know what to think or how to react. She sat down in front of me. I could sense Renee watching me meticulously but I ignored her. 

“What’s wrong Ella?” “I saw you getting out of the car with-“ “With?” “The girl who dropped you off.” “O! That’s just Amanda.” “Amanda?” “Yes Amanda.” “Your ex?” Rebecca said nothing but shook her head. “You never told me about her.” “What’s the big deal? And no she was never my ex.” “Well for one you were kissing.” “She kissed me. I did not kiss her back. Look we ran into each other. Dad couldn’t drop me and she offered a ride and I accepted. I was just as surprised about it when she kissed me. And I never told you about her because well-“ “-Well?” “Because I knew you would react the way you are doing right now. Why can’t you just listen to me? We were never an item!” “You’re joking! I told you everything Rebecca. I don’t know why you never told me about Amanda. How long were you two together?” “She was an old friend of mine. She had feelings for me for a long time but I never felt the same way. An in any case I didn’t know that she came here to Canada. Well enough about that I am hungry can we have dinner?” “You can eat. I lost my appetite.” “O Ella stop being like that. You know how much you mean to me.” “Do I? Maybe you prefer to have dinner with Amanda, she’s better looking than I am anyway.” “Ella! Stop! “And why did you not text me. I just feel like you toss me aside when you feel like it –“ I could feel my anger boiling inside of me. I felt hurt and betrayed and I didn’t want to say anything anymore. I could feel everyone in the restaurant watching us but I could not care. I just looked into Rebecca’s wondering if this past year we shared was real. 

I got out of my seat and was about to make it to the door. “Ella!” I stopped when Rebecca reached out and grabbed my hand. I turned and looked she was down on both knees holding up a beautiful diamond ring out in front of me. “I love you! And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please have me. I’m sorry I haven’t told you everything but really Ella can we know everything about everyone? Won’t you take a chance on me and spend the rest of our lives getting to know one another? Isn’t that what really matters? Will you marry me?” I felt tears streaming down my face. My heart sank. I shook my head and walked away. 

I looked back and saw Rebecca standing there confused and bewildered. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to throw my arms around her and kiss her. But images of her in the arms of Amanda kept haunting me. I walked home. My phone kept going off. Texts after texts and phone calls after phone calls. But I ignored them all. I then felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Renee looking at me. Her eyes were kind. 

“You shouldn’t have walked away from her. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have hit on you. Made all those comments. Anyway. When I saw you together well frankly, I was jealous. You’re beautiful Ella. And Rebecca is lucky to have you.” “Thank you but I –“ “What are you two lovely ladies doing her all alone? It’s late.” “What do you want?” I asked. My voice grew stronger. I watched as two men came out of the dark alley. I hadn’t realised how far I walked. Renee freaked she dialled 9-1-1 immediately. One of the guys jumped out at her and grabbed the phone but the operator picked up. 

“What do you want? We are just two innocent women walking along Burrard Street by ourselves to transit. Where are we-? O-” “Yes! O look there is-“ “Shut up! Give us your wallet!” I saw them come up to me and that was it. I was on the ground in a matter of seconds. I saw Janet taking off. Right so she leaves me just like Rebecca. Typical. I awoke the next day the lights were bright. I couldn’t make it out. Someone was talking to me. That voice. It was Rebecca. I looked to see her beautiful face it was glowing. I had forgotten everything. 

“You’re in the hospital Miss Brown. Miss?” “Rebecca. Rebecca Muller. I’m Ella’s partner.” “Fiancée.” I said correcting her. Rebecca looked at me. I could see her eyes sparkle. Her face grew red and I saw a tear rolled down her face. “Well. I will leave you two alone. Rest Miss Brown. You are lucky that your injuries are not severe. You’ll be out of here in a week. I’ll have the nurse check up on you later.” The doctor excused himself and gave a smile. I could tell he was gay.  

“I shouldn’t have let you walk out like that.” “I shouldn’t have left you. I am so sorry. All you ever did was love me.” I felt my eyes burn and tears streaming down my face. Rebecca stood up and came into the bed with me. Feeling her so close to me I had forgotten what we had fought about. She stayed with me all night. I rested my head in her arms and soon fell asleep. I awoke the next day my parents were standing there watching us. My mother was furious my father looked grief stricken. I remained emotionless and kissed Rebecca. I watched them leave. I could tell that they could not stomach watching us together. It has been a year. More so even and they still refuse to acknowledge who I am. I guess there is not much else I can say on that matter. After all you can’t change people. I went back to sleep. 

I awoke the next morning to see Rebecca, her mom and my mother arguing. I sat up in my bed and watched. 

“What did you do to my daughter? She was so active in Church and so faithful to God! Look at her now. She’s in a hospital! And you can’t marry her! You need to take that ring and leave her alone. Two women can’t get married!” “Why? Why not? It is legal in Canada! My daughter has a right to marry the woman she loves! And she loves your daughter.” “Love? God is love, not this perversion! It is against the Bible and against the will of God!” “Don’t throw the Bible at us! Your daughter stopped believing in your God and in your religion because of all this negativity, judgment and hatred! You talk about love but you choose who you love and who you think should be accepted. All this talk of loving thy neighbours etc. is complete bullshit!” “Mom!” “No Sweetheart. It needs to be said. If you don’t support Ella and Rebecca, they have us. My husband and I will be there for them. You say you love your daughter but you don’t want her to be happy. It’s been over a year now!” That was all I heard. I went back to sleep. Rebecca was still with me. 

A week passed and I was released from the hospital. Rebecca and her mom, Anna took me back to their place. 

“Your day and I have a surprise for you both!” “Mom?” I looked at Rebecca and her mom. Mrs. Muller said nothing and Mr. Muller joined us and grabbed both our arms. I let them blind fold me. “Come on you two.” We made our way to the basement. 

I could not believe my eyes. It was a fully renovated suite. The furniture was simple but tasteful. It was all Ikea. I wasn’t surprised Mrs. Muller was a huge Ikea fan. I looked around completely baffled but everything around me. There were blown up shots.  I recognised them all. “Mom? Aren’t these?” “Yes Rebecca they are your art work. Sorry I guess I should have let you guys decorated but I just go so excited. The designer in me kicked in.” “No it’s amazing. Thank you! I love it. It has everything. You even got dishes and towels?” I didn’t know what to say. There was a decent size television. Cable and internet was all set up. All we had to do was bring our clothes and our personal belongings. 

Her mom went on with the tour. “Yes, your dad got a bit carried away. Just think of it as your wedding present. I know you girls have worked so hard saving up every penny to start your lives together. I just thought that this could help. And here are your keys to your home and this one is to your car. You can take your dad for that. He got a good deal. It’s your cousin’s car Rebecca.” “How much do we owe you?” “Nothing. Just make each other happy please! We will work out the rent etc. later. I just want you guys to focus on your wedding. O and Ella you might want to move in right away. I know your parents are going on holiday maybe this will be a good time to move all your stuff when they are gone. It works out great! What do you think?” “I love it Mrs. –“ “Mom please. I told you from the beginning that you are family. Your family doesn’t accept you but we do. Remember that. 

I dropped my parents off at the airport. Hans and Rebecca brought the truck over and I began packing and moving everything to our new home. Rebecca had to wait till after we got married before she could move in. It was the rules. In any case I could go up stairs and see her just as often as I would like. 

“Sorry ladies. This is just a rule that your mother and I came up with. Just till you are married I want you to wait. Call me old fashion but this was what your mother and I had to do before we got married. So…” “It’s ok Dad, it’s tradition.” “Anna! Ella called me dad.” “Good! We’re breaking her in.” They laughed. I just rolled my eyes. I sat and watched them putting away the dishes. It was sweet seeing them working together, talking and laughing in German. Rebecca rested her head on my shoulder and placed her hand on my leg. “That’s going to be us Ella.” “I know. In our own home.” “I am so lucky.” “You? I am lucky. I never thought that I could be living my dream.” “Well my beautiful Ella! You are. After what we have is no different than why my parents have. Love is after all love.” “Yes it is.” We kissed. All I could think about was what Rebecca had said, it is just love after all.